Saturday, March 26, 2016

Hoarder Confessions Part 2 - Lobster Baby

Lobster Baby and the Bedroom Hoard

So, we bought a new mattress.  This necessitated clearing the conglomeration of crap out of the master bedroom to facilitate the delivery of said new mattress.  Thus, the entire family was enlisted to carry boxes, bins, baskets and bags full of accumulated crap out of the master bedroom and into the...  the um....  where the hell can we put all this crap?  

Why don't we sort through it and throw most of it away?  

Yeah, but we're kind of in a hurry here.

Oh, I know, the Dining Room.  

And away we went.  Now that Christmas was out of the way, we were done with the Dining Room for awhile so sure, let's push all this crap up under the Dining Room table.  Brilliant!  Done!  

Let me just interject right here that anytime we start shifting stuff around, the cats go insane.  Who knows what they are thinking.  Maybe something like this:

Monet:  Are we moving?

Cotton:  What is all this stuff?  It came from the big room where we are not allowed to go.

Monet:  Are people coming over?  They always do this when people come over.  I hate people coming over!

Cotton:  Maybe some of it is good to eat, or to lay on and shed white fur. 

Monet:  Maybe they will stir up some bugs I can kill.

Anyhooo - then came the task of pulling out the long forgotten crap from under the bed.  And that's where Lobster Baby enters the scene.  Lobster baby, pictured above, is something none of us remembers.  It is not a treasured childhood toy.  Who knows how long it's been under our bed?  

Buffy says that Lobster Baby is the reason she will need therapy in her 20s.

Honey Bunch says it's the reason he hasn't slept well in years.

I say, it probably came from one of those claw machines. It is a cheaply made, stuffed lobster with a baby doll face sewn on.  Why?  Who thought this was a good idea for a toy?  Honey Bunch did go through a claw machine phase in the late 90s to early 00s.  (is that a thing?  00s?)  More importantly, WHY THE HECK DID WE KEEP IT???

Follow up:  The bedroom hoard has now been moved form the Dining Room, which we will want to use again soon, to the sitting room.  I did eliminate two boxes so far so - I'm getting there.

And please remember, as always, It's okay for me to call myself a hoarder.  It's not okay for you to call me a hoarder.  It's like that friend you have who is always bitterly complaining about her husband, until you suggest a divorce attorney and then she unfriends you.  

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