Having your cake and eating it too

Today we have a guest blogger!  My brilliant and talented daughter Buffy.  She is so much funnier than I am.
Buffy is my youngest daughter - she's a teenager and I don't know where she gets her sarcasm from?  (cough - her father) What?  Did you hear something?

So here is Buffy's Guest Blog Post:

Phrases I Hate - by Buffy

1.  You can't have your cake and eat it too
     What do you mean by "having cake" if not eating said cake?  When you throw a party and you announce that it's time to have cake, you don't just stand around looking at the cake, reminding yourself and your guests how lucky you are to possess cake.  Having cake means eating cake and that's final.

2.  Comparing apples and oranges
     Whoever coined this phrase had a very limited frame of reference.  Apples and oranges are both fruits and so are therefore comparable.  There are also many instances in which you would actually need to compare apples and oranges, such as deciding what juice to buy or what fruits to eat.  If the point is to suggest a comparison of two un-like things, then those things should be more dissimilar.  How about, "comparing apples and the '27 Yankees," or, "comparing the use of mythological creatures in 19th Century literature and your mother-in-law." These are both, I think, better examples of pointless comparisons.

3.  You can't judge a book by it's cover
     Yes, you can and yes, you should.  If you like action/spy books and you pick up a book called He Came with the Storm and it has a shirtless man in the wind on the cover, you should not feel obligated to read it.  It is not for you.  In a real world application, people should not feel ashamed of stereotyping.  Everyone does it.  You can almost always determine your future opinions of and relationship to a person within an hour of meeting them.  Sometimes there is obviously not a connection and it is okay not to want to pursue a friendship based on this.

4.  You'll never know if you don't try
     First of all, Shut Up!  Who are you to judge me?  Similar to number 3, sometimes you don't need to try something to know it is not for you.  I do not like seafood, can't stand it actually.  So when someone offers me sushi or caviar, I do not need to try it to know that I will not like it.  If a person is obviously uncomfortable around a certain food or experience, do not insistently pressure them to try it because they will only hate it more and they will resent you for inflicting such torture upon them.

5.  Bringing home the bacon
     This phrase is supposed to fit traditional gender roles with the men earning all the money and therefore bringing home food.  But, if this gender role is to apply, then the stereotype of women doing all the shopping must also be applied.  This would make the women the people who literally bring bacon home.  This phrase is not only outdated but foolish.